….changed our lives. We started trying for a baby when I was about 22 years old. Little did I know that infertility would change our lives. It sounds a little dramatic to say “it changed our lives”, but in many ways it did! At the time I was still finishing up school and can actually remember thinking, “I hope I don’t get pregnant right away….I would like to finish up school first”, I guess I should have been careful what I wished for. Not only did I get to finish school, but I got about 4 years of my career under my belt before we finally went on to start our family.
Here are the top ten ways infertility changed our lives:
1.) The main way that infertility has changed our lives is that, in the end, it gave us two beautiful children to show for all the heartache. I wanted to start here to say that no matter what you are going through, all the struggles are worth it in the end! If one or two of our miscarriages would not have happened, our boys would not be here…..I truly believe they are the children we were meant to have. It may seem like a cruel way for God to give us the children we were meant to raise, but they are here now and that is all that really matters!! If I could go back and do it all again, I wouldn’t want it to be any different.
2.) Some may argue that this next one is not true…..and I am not doubting the parenting of any non-infertile couples. But I cannot help but think that we are better parents because of infertility. Of course we are not perfect, no where close to it, but I think we really appreciate being parents and what a gift it is to have our two little miracle boys.
3.) I became a part of a community that I will always feel linked to. Before infertility I never did anything “social” on the computer…..probably did not even know what a forum or blog was:)! Now I am sitting here writing a blog post for my viewers. I also still post on the forums that helped get me through the hard times. Although we are through our struggles, I will always be a part of the “infertility world”.
4.) Not now, but for a while, I would not hold other people’s babies. I never really thought to myself, “I can’t hold a baby”, but at some point I realized that when others would offer to hold babies I never would. I am a pretty strong person and honestly never felt any jealousy over other people having children (although a lot of women do, so don’t feel bad if you are one of them)…..I just had no desire to hold a baby. I think it was my weird way of protecting myself from possibly feeling empty for not having a baby of my own.
5.) I completely lost my summers! We are both teachers, so we always did IVF during the summer. With my RE that meant giving up my summer completely. I had to be in the office three times a week to draw blood and do ultrasounds, so no going out of town. I was told no lifting anything heavier than half a gallon of milk, no swimming, no sex, etc. So…basically I had to sit at home, waiting for my next appointment, so I could obsess over the numbers.
6.) This may be a bit of an excuse, but I feel like infertility really helped me to get out of shape. I was always an athlete growing up and really enjoy feeling like I am in shape. When we first started IVF I had been doing pretty good working out at the school’s faculty weight room. Of course I was told nothing other than walking, so I had to quit. I know that IVF only takes about a month but when you are starting and stopping procedures over and over, it seems like one big long marathon IVF! Also, we ended up pregnant three times (before finally getting pregnant with our first born son), so the restrictions were carried until the miscarriage would occur. Only making a non-successful cycle that much longer!!
7.) I became a pro at injecting myself. For a while I felt like a real junkie….shooting up in my car, storing meds in a friends fridge, even having to ask a good friend to inject me! At first I only did the shots in the stomach and hubby did the ones in the butt, but after soo many cycles I got to the point where I could even do the PIO shots with ease. To this day the smell of an alcohol swab triggers memories of injections. I am sure y’all can relate to this!!
8.) Sex Life. Need I say more? At first all the restrictions did not mess us up too bad, but eventually having to hold back from having sex for months at a time really screwed us up. I think this is very normal for infertility to screw up your sex life….for many different reasons. It took a while to get back to normal, but I am happy to say that we are. If you are still having trouble in this area…..it will get better!
9.) Debt. I probably don’t need to elaborate much on this one. For those of you with IVF insurance (I’m jealous)….most of the rest of us have accumulated a lot (is that a big enough word) of debt trying to have our little miracles.
10.) I will never look at twins the same again. This one is on a lighter note, but if I see a pair of twins I automatically want to go up and ask the parents “are your little ones a result of fertility treatments….I understand what you went through ”. Of course I would never do that, but I honestly do see twins and automatically think infertility.
I hope you enjoyed this blog post, if you would like to hear more from IVF Success Stories….please subscribe to blog. Infertility WILL change your life, but believe it or not you will be grateful for all the heartache in the end! Don’t give up….if we can go on to have two little miracle boys, you can too. Please feel free to reply to this post!! I always love to hear feedback and to know that there are others out there thinking the same things .